I hate how I am right now. I am the exact type of person I didn't want to be. I am so stressed out that every little thing pushes me right over the edge. Yuck Yuck Yuck. I am trying so hard not to be this person, but I can't help it. I am being really good about rolling with the punches and making lemonade out of lemons, but holy hell there are a lot of lemons! And lemonade is really not my favorite thing to drink.
Tomorrow is the rehearsal and when family and friends really start to come into town. I am focusing on that. I have gotten a lot accomplished in these last 3 days...really I have. I just have a lot left to do. Nothing I can't handle...I just wish it could all be done at the same place and at the same time.
Okay, back to life.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Yuck...I am craving McDonalds!
I had my first wedding related nightmare.
It was the wedding day and for some reason my dress needed to be pre-approved by the Swiss Embassy. Lindsay was in charge of picking it up, but they weren't open on Saturday and there were no security guards to let her in. Then all of a sudden I realized that I had picked it up the other day so there was no worry...it was in the back seat of Lindsay's car.
My Brain is going crazy.
It was the wedding day and for some reason my dress needed to be pre-approved by the Swiss Embassy. Lindsay was in charge of picking it up, but they weren't open on Saturday and there were no security guards to let her in. Then all of a sudden I realized that I had picked it up the other day so there was no worry...it was in the back seat of Lindsay's car.
My Brain is going crazy.
Monday, October 12, 2009
That is a lot of booze!
On Sunday, Lindsay, Mom, and I went to Costco to buy the wedding booze. It wasn't until we got up to the register that we noticed we had forgotten beer. Oh, well, I guess we will have to go back next weekend.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Fly Through the Air With the Greatest of Ease
My friend Kate gave me the book A Conscious Bride by Sheryl Nissinen. She said that it really helped her process some of the feelings she was having before her wedding. I kept telling her I was going to read the book, but secretly never planned on it because I did want to be “that type” of bride. You know the type, those who are consumed by their wedding so much that all they even read are books or magazines about being the best bride a woman can be.
Monday I found myself without a book to read on the bus and nothing on my book shelf that inspired me, so I reluctantly grab Kate’s book and made my way to the bus stop. Now, there are definitely parts of the book that do not apply to me. But some of it has struck a chord with me. The author is pretty insistent that one of the worst things a bride can do is plan the wedding day down to the last minute detail. She says that chaos is always present at a time like this and chaos, or how she refers to it as, Pan doesn’t adhere to schedules. She say accept Pan as a guest at your wedding. Let him in, give him a seat, and if you are aware he is going to be there, he is a little less scary. So, while I think it is important to have a schedule, I am surrendering myself to the chaos that is my wedding. Pan can have his way with me.
Sheryl also talks about the sadness that can accompany weddings. Reading this part of the book was actually the first time I had let myself think of the wedding as a sad thing. Andy’s grandma won’t be able to make it to the wedding and I know that is hard for him. He understands why she can’t make it up here and that is part of the reason we are taking a road trip this summer, but I know that is still something that is weighing on his heart. My mom is sad because her parents are not here to see me get married. I think my mom’s dad would have loved Andy. And I am sad that while my dad’s parents will most likely be at the wedding, it won’t be the same. My grandma probably won’t remember why she is going to a wedding and won’t remember it once she leaves. Both of their health is at such a state that they probably won’t be able to stay for very long. I think by acknowledging this, it won’t blind side me on the day of.
16 days and counting. I have to remember to wear my wedding shoes tonight, I have to break them in.
Monday I found myself without a book to read on the bus and nothing on my book shelf that inspired me, so I reluctantly grab Kate’s book and made my way to the bus stop. Now, there are definitely parts of the book that do not apply to me. But some of it has struck a chord with me. The author is pretty insistent that one of the worst things a bride can do is plan the wedding day down to the last minute detail. She says that chaos is always present at a time like this and chaos, or how she refers to it as, Pan doesn’t adhere to schedules. She say accept Pan as a guest at your wedding. Let him in, give him a seat, and if you are aware he is going to be there, he is a little less scary. So, while I think it is important to have a schedule, I am surrendering myself to the chaos that is my wedding. Pan can have his way with me.
Sheryl also talks about the sadness that can accompany weddings. Reading this part of the book was actually the first time I had let myself think of the wedding as a sad thing. Andy’s grandma won’t be able to make it to the wedding and I know that is hard for him. He understands why she can’t make it up here and that is part of the reason we are taking a road trip this summer, but I know that is still something that is weighing on his heart. My mom is sad because her parents are not here to see me get married. I think my mom’s dad would have loved Andy. And I am sad that while my dad’s parents will most likely be at the wedding, it won’t be the same. My grandma probably won’t remember why she is going to a wedding and won’t remember it once she leaves. Both of their health is at such a state that they probably won’t be able to stay for very long. I think by acknowledging this, it won’t blind side me on the day of.
16 days and counting. I have to remember to wear my wedding shoes tonight, I have to break them in.
Monday, October 5, 2009
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